The Power of Negotiating

Have you ever wondered what’s negotiable? The simple answer is everything is!! Yet not everyone uses the power of negotiation to get what they want or what they deserve.

Some of the most common areas that negotiation comes into mind is for a job salary, or maybe for major purchases like a car or house. But not everyone may realize other things you can negotiate, so I’ve compiled a list to give you some ideas and to get you thinking on creative ways you could negotiate these items.💡

1. Electronics

2. Furniture

3. Medical bills

4. Fees such as interest rates, overdraft, late fees, etc.

5. Job title

6. Job benefits package

7. Real estate

8. Renovations

9. Income tax

10. Services of any kind

11. Food

12. Education

13. Credit card debt

Now that I’ve got your wheels turning, I know there are really 3 types of negotiation tactics to consider.
1) People who believe they cannot negotiate or quietly take the first offer fearful of missing out.
2) People who aim high and believe in splitting the difference to come to terms.
3) People that are ready to speak up with valid points to support what they want and are not afraid to stand firm or walk away if needed.

The 2nd option is great for someone who is new to negotiating, however, option 3 is what you should be aiming to reach. Your first few will always be a little rocky, but as you practice and win a few, you will start gaining confidence and figuring out your personal negotiation style.

Then you can start coming to the table with 2-3 facts clearly outlined to support your side. It’s very important to master the art of knowing when to present them and then knowing when to stop talking, sit quietly, even with awkward silence, and wait for their response to your request. The worst that can happen is they say no. Which a no is your opportunity to be prepared to thank them and walk away. No usually means not right now, but you will be surprised how many of these “no’s” will turn into “I’m listening now” in a few days or weeks time, when the other side realizes your offer was strong and they will respect your ability to stand firm. Mindset is key because if you don’t believe you deserve it then nobody else will believe it and they will see right through you, so start by always knowing your worth and never compromising on it.

Keep in mind also that not all negotiations involve money either. For example, sometimes time may be on the table, such as in real estate. I was able to make a lower cash offer because I also knew that I was able to close in under a week, which made my offer strong. Time is also something that can be negotiated in a benefits package if you are offered a certain amount of time off in a benefits package..you can always ask for more!

One of my most random negotiations included 8 month pregnant me at a car dealership with a craving and making sure they added a pizza on top of all the other items I wanted on my SUV. I am a believer that if you aren’t asking, you could quite literally be leaving food on the table.🤰🏼🍕

One of my favorite recent wins was the $12k below asking I was able to negotiate on our recent home purchase. I used time as my offering instead. I knew he had an offer above what I put in by $2,000, but I told him I was able to close quickly. Turns out he wanted the guarantee of a quick close (in 4 days) more than the $2,000 and waiting for that other person to gather their funds and possibly not being able to.

Share your negotiation wins with me!👇🏼👇🏼

Review Of Our First BRRRR

We are now onto the Final R in the Buy, Rehab, Rent, Refinance, Repeat, so I wanted to share the final numbers and the many of newbie mistakes that were made on our first BRRRR. Let’s start with the final numbers.

Purchase Price: $37,500

Repairs/Holding/Closing Costs: $55,400

Total of our money left in the deal: $12,000

Appraisal: $100,000 (We are still in shock that it came in this low, as we were expecting more in the $110-$125k range)

Ideally, the whole point of the BRRRR method is to end up with instant equity and be able to pull out all or a portion of your money so you can use it for the next deal. Well, we are leaving ALL of our money in the deal and we ended up doing 85% LTV instead of 75%. Ouch..that really BRRRNs. (see what I did there) Am I saltier than the sea about how it turned out and the appraisal coming in super low? I sure am. BUT we also learned SO MUCH that we wouldn’t have if we didn’t go through this process. So, I wanted to share it all with you to ensure you don’t make the same rookie mistakes that we did on your first BRRRR.

1. We went through a wholesaler. Which means we paid for their services of finding and negotiating this off-market deal. We could have easily saved around $10,000 if we would have gone direct to the seller and took out the middle man during the acquisition process.

2. We subbed out all of the work. This means that we did not put in any sweat equity, except that one time I stood in the pedestal sink and painted the bathroom just out of stubbornness and not liking the color. Sweat equity is one of the ways we could have saved big on costs, but we would have had to spend our time, so there is always a trade-off either way. After reviewing all of the work that was done, we could have easily saved another $5,000-$10,000.

3. We used a hard money loan, and in exchange we paid a lot in holding costs. Next time we will explore other ways to fund the deal that don’t come with such high costs, such as a HELOC or private money. Holding costs were even moreout of control with COVID related delays, but we could have saved another $2,500 at minimum if we didn’t have such high holding costs.

4. I am just going to be honest here..we dropped the ball big time on the market analysis. I am not an expert, nor did I consult one and just went with what I was seeing online and didn’t research the appraisal process. If I had my real estate license and could have pulled comps, then I could have been more familiar with the area ahead of time. I would have been more conservative on the appraised value we expected to get back and that would have had an impact on all of the other numbers we ran. I also feel like there were a few things that we could have tweaked during the renovation to get a better appraised value. Overall, there was probably another $10,000 in equity we may have missed out on here.

What Went Right

Now that we have discussed the doom and gloom and all that money we left on the table, lets switch gears to what went right.

1. WE LEARNED. You can read all of the books, listen to all of the podcasts, and follow all of the most amazing Instagram accounts out there, but there is no substitute for hands on experience. We now know the entire process and have broken every aspect of it, so we now know how to fix it for next time.

2. WE EXPECTED TO LEARN. Since we knew it was our first BRRRR and major renovation, we were hoping for the best but also planned for the worst. We are OK leaving our money in the deal.

3. WE GREW OUR NETWORK. We had to find all of the necessary resources for each step of the BRRRR process. For this one deal, we worked with a wholesaler, hard money lender, general contractor, a few subcontractors, real estate attorney, loan officer, and property manager.

4. WE HAVE ANOTHER CASHFLOWING ASSET. After it’s all said and done, our monthly mortgage will be around $690. We are getting $1100 in rent each month. Since we replaced all cap ex items during the renovation, we shouldn’t have to worry about anything major needing replaced right away. After all expenses, we are bringing in $250 a month in cashflow on this one. I will take it!

Am I ready for our next BRRRR? I’m honestly not sure if we will continue with this strategy or switch it up, but I am ready for our next house. We have some ground to make up for since 2020 has been a shit show of a year so far on many levels. But for our real estate business, we still have a goal to double our doors from 3 to 6 this year, so we will definitely have to get creative to accomplish this. Let me know if you have any ideas to share with me to help us double our doors!

Reflecting on 2019

There will be a whole 365 days in 2019 for us to have set goals, have taken action, worked hard, and to have crushed those goals. Year end is a great time to throw modesty out the door and recognize how great your year was and how awesome you are for all that was accomplished.   If you did the work, then I don’t care who you are, you deserve to celebrate, so go on..brush your shoulders off.

If you instead stayed on the couch all year again, and your biggest accomplishment was only gaining 10 lbs from all the junk you ate while binge watching all the Netflix original series..well then..might be good to reflect on that also.   Still playing the “victim of your situation” game and convincing yourself that you can’t change or grow because “insert your excuse here”.  Did that binge or pity party help you or hurt you?

Not trying to brag below I promise you..just trying to prove that you CAN do big things if you set big goals and are ready to take action and put in the work.   You can and should think differently about life and the pursuit of happiness..question things and don’t just do what everyone else is doing because it’s easy.  Also, I’m sharing some stuff that makes me feel vulnerable and gives a private look into some events in my life over the past year.

If you’re not ready to grow and celebrate success, then please stop reading this and head back to your latest Netflix binge. If you are ready, but not sure where to start, start by grabbing a pen and paper and write down everything you accomplished this year that makes you feel proud to tell others and makes you feel like you have grown as a person.  Then go share it with the world!!

See my list below:  My 2019 Accomplishments

  1. Started MySemiBasicLife.com blog and InstaGram account
  2. Grew organically from 150 followers to 1250 followers
  3. Helped teaching my youngest to read and my oldest to read and rehearse lines for a major part in a play
  4. Bought 1st rental property end of March 2019
  5. Bought 2nd rental property in August 2019
  6. Bought 3rd rental property in December 2019 (this one with a full cosmetic rehab)
  7. Was a guest on not one, but two podcasts, and submitted an idea to one of my favorite podcasts, and got to speak with the producer and provide input on a new series (can’t share any more info..sworn to secrecy..lol)
  8. Became debt free after selling our cars and paying off the remaining of our $165,000 in consumer debt. Nobody to impress now that I’ve changed my value system and if I don’t have the cash for it, then I’m not buying it.
  9. Completed a No Spend Year of no clothes, shoes, accessories, purses, makeup, haircuts/dye. Turns out I don’t give a shit what others think of me after all, and I don’t need makeup or new clothes to try and impress anyone.  “Letting myself go” in the eyes of society by not wearing makeup, rocking my grey hair, and not buying the latest clothing trends feels a lot more like getting comfortable in my own skin.  I’ve never felt prettier on the inside and out then I do right now.  I also learned to cut my own hair..not getting accepted into cosmetology school anytime soon..lol, but I can do it and it’s fun and free.
  10. Joined a real estate mastermind group and joined a local real estate investors group and have networked and made several great connections in the industry
  11. Attempted my first seller finance deal (didn’t work out but was a great learning experience and made some new connections in the process)
  12. Helped land a few really big accounts at work that required a lot of work and were out of my comfort zone
  13. Was matched with a little sister through Big Brothers/Big Sisters and continued to volunteer on the family selection committee for Habitat for Humanity
  14. Survived a lot of loss including losing a good friend to glioblastoma, losing my dog of 17 years, losing a terminal puppy we adopted, a dwarf hamster, and a pet rat. Lastly, there was an advanced stage breast cancer diagnosis for my mom with lots of biopsies, dr visits, chemo rounds, lots of soups/casseroles and will be leading in to surgery/radiation/hormone replacement in 2020.
  15. Started a gratitude journal that I write in every night.
  16. Started a daily morning meditation and manifesting the life I want practice.
  17. After my leg injury finally healed, was back up to running over 5 miles until I got bit by the neighbor’s dog..lol
  18. Stopped two nasty habits that I have battled on/off for years, smoking and drinking.  I still occasionally have a beer or drink, but not like I used to and have been smoke free since 6/1/19!!  I’m now focused on enjoying my current situation more and building a life I don’t need to escape from.  No judgment to my friends that are still doing these things..just doesn’t fit in my life any longer.
  19. I read 45 books this year!!
  20. Experienced 6 figure net worth growth through all of the above focus, hustle and sacrifice

Wow..I DID ALL OF THAT IN ONE YEAR??!!  I did notice that I didn’t have as much of a focus on my marriage or kids this past year, and plan to make sure I am placing more focus on those areas of my life in 2020.  Of all of those accomplishments, I am most proud of the self love and belief that I can do anything..because clearly I can after seeing my list!!  Also, with the belief in myself, I have noticed my risk tolerance is completely different.  I am ready to take on risks instead of turning away from them, because I know I will learn and grow from any mistakes, so bring them on!

Did you write a list of goals at the beginning of 2019 that you can compare your end of 2019 accomplishments to?  If not, no worries, because  I didn’t write any goals out at the beginning of the year either.  2020 marks the beginning of a new decade and new opportunities to start fresh for all of us.  Make it the year you stop saying “someday” and finally replace it with today.

Anyone else brave enough to share their year in review??!!

BRRRR it’s getting cold in here 🥶

I know I know..I’m sure everyone is thinking there must be some Toros in the atmosphere comes next?! Or maybe I’m the only old ass nerd still out here quoting Bring It On, which by the way, happens to be a classic cheerleading movie. 📣 🎥

Ok focus..it IS super cold and snowing hard here in Kansas City today, so it’s perfectly timed to talk about BRRRR, which is why we are all here (not from the cheerleaders movie or cold weather, but the real estate investing version). The strategy has been around for a minute, but the guys from BiggerPockets hold the clever naming rights I believe.

I am SO SO SO PUMPED UP to be getting after our very first house using the BRRRR method. So I wanted to explain this strategy very high level, and how it can be a great way for investors to grow a portfolio of buy and hold properties quickly, and with little of their own money tied up in the deal long term. Clearly I’m a newbie and can only speak to what I’ve researched/read/listened to, and what real life has brought my way so far, but thought I could at least introduce the concept to other newbies.

The premise is a way to use little of your own money while growing a buy and hold portfolio. In its simplest form, it stands for buy, rehab, rent, refinance, then repeat. We are still in the “buy” phase of ours, set to close this week, and excited to move into the rehab piece and plan to share the full details once we wrap up this project. We are going to just use some rough numbers here as an example.

Let’s say you find a distressed house or a homeowner who needs to get out fast of their current home. There’s lots of ways to find these deals, which I’m not going to cover in this post, but will save for another day. The distressed home or owner is an opportunity for you to help solve their problem and to buy their house from them. You would aim to acquire low, due to current condition of the home, taking into consideration all of the repair costs, and your ability to close fast. You would also need to make sure all of the numbers truly work for a BRRRR. But let’s say you can get this house for $30k and it needs an additional $30k in renovations. You use your own money, private money or hard money for the initial purchase and rehab (also lots of funding options I will also save for another post).

You know from looking at comps in the area (not houses for sale, but comparable houses that have already sold recently) that the ARV, or “after repair value” is around $100k. You have also checked average rents in the area, and know it will rent for $1,000 a month. So, after you rehab it and rent it out, then you go to a traditional bank for a cash out refinance on the property at $75k, and you pay yourself or your private money lender back and you now have none of your own money tied up in the deal and have acquired an asset with 25% instant equity. You have a tenant placed and are now cashflowing a few hundred bucks a month after your mortgage/expenses. You also walk away with a $7,500-10,000 profit (after closing/holding costs).

You keep repeating this process until you get to your buy and hold end game number, whatever that is for you. Work until the cashflow covers your monthly expenses to live, then you can sit back and enjoy your time freedom from your rental portfolio, or you never quit…completely up to you. 🤷‍♀️

I know I’ve simplified the process, but that was my intent. There are a TON of resources out there, including lots of investors using this strategy and sharing their successes/learnings, lots of podcasts, and even some books, so go do your research and dive deeper to fully understand. I would also love to hear input from others out there who are ice cold BRRRR experts. I just love this strategy and I hope sharing from my real estate investing toolkit will help you either get interested in getting into real estate, or help you to strengthen your current investing game.

7 ways to increase your net worth

I posted back in May with our first 6 month check in on our net worth, and I cant believe another 6 months has passed since that first post I made on this topic. Here we are though, so you know I had to do some reflecting on our progress. I knew that we had made a lot of money moves, but I was like damn girl..go on with your bad self. 💃🏻 I was very happy with seeing a 58% increase since this time last year, and wanted to help others with ideas on how you can do the same!

So, how did we do it?!

1. Goal Crushing-Did you know that you are 42% more likely to achieve a goal JUST BY WRITING IT DOWN?? This is one of the easiest ways to increase your net worth, or really a way to change anything in your life, even outside of finances. You’ve heard me talk about always having 2-3 goals and then a few “micro goals” to help you break it down and make a plan to get to those bigger goals. Go ahead..go get your paper and pen..I will wait. 📝

2. Becoming Debt Free-It’s always nice to increase those assets, but make sure you are decreasing those liabilities first. See number 1 if you aren’t sure how to become debt free and also do some research on debt snowball vs debt avalanche. While we are on this topic, please promise yourself that you will stop adding new liabilities. 🙅‍♀️

3. Investing in myself-Two years ago, I only read two books the whole year, and I used social media as a rabbit hole of memes and scrolling through pictures of people that I didn’t even talk to in high school, binge watching Netflix, drinking several nights a week and I listened to a ton of murder podcasts and rap music. This past year, I have read almost 40 books, created a community of sharing and encouraging others changing their lives through financial literacy, stopped drinking, started exercising more consistently, and I still listen to murder podcasts and rap music, but sprinkle in podcasts about financial independence and real estate investing also. 📚😎

4. Buying real estate-Did you know that 90% of self made millionaires grew their wealth through real estate? Refer to numbers 1,2, and 3 above or refer to my previous posts on real estate if you’re not sure where to start.

5. Investing in our 401k’s and other tax advantaged accounts-If there is a match and/or tax advantages, that’s a good indicator you should be maxing these out. If maxing all of your options out seems like a lofty goal that makes you want to stop reading anything I ever write again, then please start with the employer match, then next open a Roth, then contribute to your HSA. You can choose your contribution amount, sometimes as little as $50, and even pause contributions if needed. Always remember that something is better than nothing.

6. Lifestyle Design-Read my previous post on lifestyle design vs lifestyle creep. Inflating your expenses to match your income is a silent wealth deflater. It’s easy to let your WANTS slip into your NEEDS category. Trust me..I know because I was guilty at one point myself. 🙋‍♀️ Once I got real real honest with myself, we were able to cut out unnecessary expenses that weren’t in line with our values, got back to basics and are now sitting at a 66% savings rate. 🙌🏼

7. Increasing self worth-Not only should you focus on increasing net worth, you should focus on increasing self worth. I promise you the two go hand in hand. Leave behind those limiting beliefs that are holding you back already-bye Felicia. 👋 You ARE amazing and you CAN blaze your own damn trail and you CAN become whatever you want to be..yes you!

What are you waiting for?? Go get you some worth. 😉

Seven FREE Apps to help you become stress free

Ok..so my title may be a little misleading..since becoming stress free is likely impossible. But I needed to get your attention and it sounded catchier than seven free ways to reduce stress. 🤷‍♀️

You guys..it’s 2019 and we KNOW that we are all living with a more demanding schedule causing a more stressful life AND it has been proven to have an impact on our health. Some studies say that as many as 80% of people are feeling both physical and psychological effects of stress, such as fatigue, headache, stomachache, muscle tension, anxiety, nervousness, irritability, and sleep disturbances, just to name a few. Do you currently feel stressed?

I keep talking about minimizing the demands on your time and that as a society we need to stop glorifying “being busy” as a status symbol of success, but are you listening?! We also need to start ditching unhealthy coping mechanisms, like drugs, cigarettes, over or under eating, alcohol and my personal favorite..the art of ignoring your stressors until you have a nervous breakdown.

You guys..can we please try to be proactive instead of reactive already?! I’m not begging you, but pretty damn close, because this is that important!! I’m even going to make it easy and convenient and FREE for you, so that takes away all of your excuses. Here are seven tools and/or apps to keep in your back pocket, and you should be at minimum doing 2-3 of these things in your day to day, and holding on to the rest for those extra stressful days.

1. Headspace-this app reminds me of Notorious BIG and the song Hypnotize. 🎶 sometimes your words just hypnotize me 🎶 This app has helped to hypnotize me both to get to sleep at bedtime, and then back to sleep middle of the night when my brain was ready to party. 🧠

2. YouTube yoga videos-there are SO many videos that it’s likely you could watch a new video each day for the rest of your life. Depending on you and your unique coping, you may need either a restorative gentle video or an intense vinyasa flow. Or maybe you fall in the middle..but just don’t fall in the group that doesn’t take advantage of the free yoga available and go get you some zen! 🧘‍♀️

3. Journaling-Daylio, Jour and Reflectly seem like good journaling apps, or if you’re like me, you can always just grab one of those random notebooks around your house and write it out (don’t act like you don’t have a hundred of them).

4. Music-ok so my AppleMusic isn’t free, but the radio is, or YouTube music videos, or Spotify or Pandora. Make yourself a few playlists..one for high stress and needing some good vibes and high energy, and another for relaxing music to calm your soul.

5. Walking/Running-no app required..just the outdoors or a treadmill. But if you’re looking for coaching, the C25K app or the Nike Run Club are both apps I love and use!! Bonus points for grabbing a dog to take with you, they get stressed to you know.

6. Daily affirmations-I have an app called affirmations, and it’s one of the first things I look at on my phone after I’m up and moving in the morning. I get a new one everyday, and it’s just that daily reminder that you are a bad ass and can handle any of life’s stresses today, so bring it.

7. Reading-I use the Libby app., which syncs with my library card and gets me free ebooks and audiobooks. Nothing like feeling stressed and taking a moment to forget it all and get lost in a good book.

These are all ways to ditch stress and get back to being awesome.

How do you manage stress?

Lifestyle Choices

This is going to be one of the hardest topics yet to cover at a very high level and also my first mention of FIRE in my writings (financial independence retire early). My goal is just to inform you of two choices and get you rethinking, especially if you feel like you don’t have choices and are stuck in your current financial position. I am by no means claiming to be an expert on the topic or to get into the HOW in this post. I have just dabbled with both lifestyles mentioned and I feel like there are not enough people (especially women) who are thinking about or providing information on the topic..so looks like you are stuck with me. 😜

The above picture is the best way I could summarize the concept of lifestyle creep. For now, as mentioned, this is just to introduce you to the topic, so I have a few stats and thought provoking questions to hopefully do so.

First..the stats tell an alarming story. I recently read in this USA Today article https://amp.usatoday.com/amp/34378157 that the average household is bringing in around $75,000 annually, and of that, they are spending 90% of it, which equates to $67,500 outgoing and only around $7,500 extra annually. (which the article states a lot of this is going towards interest payments on consumer debt). This breaks down to $5,625 in expenses each month and $625 extra. That doesn’t leave much wiggle room and helps paint a picture as to why people aren’t putting anything or very little towards saving, investing, emergency funds and retirement. 😳

Essentially pointing out that people are living a paycheck to paycheck lifestyle. I don’t know that this was a surprise to any of us, but it may be a surprise that people are making the choice everyday with their actions and spending habits to live this way. Disclaimer that there are people living in poverty, so for the sake of my post, I am referring to the middle class mentioned above.

Now on to the questions. Feel free to answer in comments if you want to share, or just answer to yourself or as an internal conversation or with your significant other. Keep it real because denial is a great way to protect yourself from the truth right now, but long term in fact it just ends up hurting you more.

1) Are you living paycheck to paycheck like the scenario mentioned above?

2) Have you noticed that no matter what you do, you just can’t get ahead?

3) Do you receive regular raises or have you changed jobs to make additional money over the course of your career, yet you aren’t seeing a difference in your monthly budget after expenses because they always seem to match what’s coming in?

4) Do you ever pay attention to how much you spend on conveniences like pre-made food, someone to mow your lawn, someone to clean that big house, someone to wash that new car, someone to groom your dog, someone to do your hair/nails/makeup, etc because you are too busy working to do these things?

5) Have you ever wondered why things are like this for you and probably a lot of people you know, yet it’s still a taboo topic to discuss money, so everyone just keeps working harder and staying in the vicious cycle mentioned above?

6) What will happen if you change nothing and keep following this path?

Please reference the above picture as you are going through these questions to see if lifestyle creep has found a way to creep into your life. Remember..be honest.

Next, know that there is another option. As mentioned above, lifestyle creep is a choice and I’ve said this so many times on purpose. So many think they have no choice unless they make more money and this is far from the truth.

Lifestyle creep is a path that many in our society have walked and not challenged until recent years. Here are some questions to ask yourself and see if you’re one of those ready to challenge the traditional path and choose a different way.

1) What upsets you the most about always being broke and living paycheck to paycheck?

2) How has constantly feeling stressed from working so much and not having any money to show for it affected you?

3) What are your values and what are you spending your money on? Do they line up?

4) What are your passions and what do you dream about doing?

5) What could change if you have an open mind and put in the work, I mean really put in the work, to change your current financial path and mindset? Think of one quick and easy way you can change today.

6) What will happen if you start to live a lifestyle designed by you instead of others?

As mentioned, a lot of people have started looking at the above stats and questions, and are starting to make the decision to customize their lifestyle based on their own unique values, not what society tells them to value. Spoiler alert..it’s not through making more money as mentioned above..it has never been about that. It’s about a lifestyle of being content with only those things that bring you value. Luckily, it usually don’t cost anything at all, just the basics needed like food, shelter, experiences and none of the extra crap. 😊

Don’t get this lifestyle design twisted with a life of going without, because it’s actually the opposite of that. You have room for so much more when you let go of stupid shit.

Well..shocker..I have lots more to say but I’ve said enough for one day. What are your thoughts or questions on the two different paths mentioned above?

Gifting gratitude is free

Being grateful for what we have is something we can all spend some time each day reflecting on. It’s as easy as asking yourself one question each morning before getting out of bed. What am I grateful for today? I bet there are some things you are grateful for that others may not have, such as basic needs like a warm meal or the roof over our heads.

This is one of the reasons we have all made the decision to be part of a fundraiser or donation drive. It’s always nice to stay stocked up on canned goods for a local food bank or to help get school supplies for a student in need. Monetary and food donations can make such an impact, even on a small scale.

While giving to others, we can end up gaining so much. I know the feeling I get from giving to others is indescribable, and I bet some of you feel the same way when you give.

If you aren’t in a position to give back with goods or money, there is a way to give back that doesn’t cost you anything. Time is a great thing you can give that is just as rewarding, if not more so, than money or goods.

Find something you’re passionate about and give your time..an hour a week..an hour a month..an hour a year..whatever you have. I have been volunteering with Habitat for Humanity on the family selection and services committee for almost ten years and love it. I have also been a Big Sister for Big Brothers Big Sisters for about three years and love that program also. I can always walk away knowing that I’m making an impact, which makes my heart happy.

The point is..give back..some how..some way..a little..a lot..just give..help others..be a good human. Always stay humble because you may end up on the receiving end one day.

Flirting with Fear

I remember in high school and college becoming physically sick about public speaking. To the point where I would accept lower grades just to get back to my comfort zone..which was not being in front of people. I went for perfection in the areas that I knew, and didn’t feel comfortable trying anything different.

I promised myself I would NEVER get in front of crowds after graduating. I would occasionally have to speak to small groups early in my career, and every time it would cause me to lose sleep and have an upset stomach.

I got to a point in my career about five years ago, where there were new promotions I could go after, but part of that would require me to get in front of mid-sized groups. I almost stayed where I was, because it was comfortable and easy and I almost gave up on ever getting over my fear. But instead, I went for it, scared as hell of failure, very anxious and certain I wouldn’t be “perfect” at it.

It was outside of my comfort zone, but I continued to practice, visibly shaking the first few times I had to present, lost a lot of sleep, practiced some more, but watched as the groups slowly started growing in size, so did my confidence and I found that it’s something I actually enjoy.

I have also found some deep breathing and yoga routines that help get me in the right mindset if I am feeling nervous or anxious. I currently present frequently to small to mid-sized groups, and it gets easier every time I do it.

Today, 5 years after making a professional and personal development goal of getting more comfortable with one of my biggest fears, something happened. I had my largest stage and largest audience to date. And I wasn’t nervous or anxious at all, but rather felt EXCITED and GRATEFUL for the opportunity. I didn’t even use the notes that I made for myself.

Making a long story longer. 🤷‍♀️

I definitely think this book had some impact on my mindset shift and highly recommend reading this, along with listening to Reshma Saujani’s TedTalk. Be brave, not perfect!!

What fear do you have that you’ve been able to overcome or that’s still holding you back today?